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	<title>The Koala at UCSD</title>
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	<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd</link>
	<description>Getting shit done since 1982</description>
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		<title>So, How DID New UCSD Chancellor Khosla Get the Job From Mark Yudof?</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/so-how-did-new-ucsd-chancellor-khosla-get-the-job-from-mark-yudof/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/so-how-did-new-ucsd-chancellor-khosla-get-the-job-from-mark-yudof/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Aug 2012 00:14:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pradeep khosla]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pradeep khosla salary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pradeep khosla ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pradeep khosla ucsd chancellor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It's somebody else's turn to minimize the voice of the student and maximize the sweet, sweet $$$ that our administrators won't use to improve your education or college experience! 

This time that guy is Pradeep Khosla, who got hired out of Carnegie Mellon to go Ballsdeep Khosla for UCSD.

You think it's easy working for such a callous sellout like Mark Yudof? Just try getting interviewed by him:


“Meet me on the street in back of the inNout near the 5 and Garnet in PB,” his raspy voice whispered, the shouts of vagrants echoing in the background. 

Pradeep Khosla didn't understand why they wouldn't meet on the UCSD campus for this interview, nor why Mark Yudof would pick such a sketchy location for them to meet instead. 
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Koalympics 2012: Bitches (Christine Merrill) be traitoring</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/olympics-2012-christine-sonali-merrill-is-a-fucking-olympic-traitor-for-sri-lanka/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/olympics-2012-christine-sonali-merrill-is-a-fucking-olympic-traitor-for-sri-lanka/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Aug 2012 00:29:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christine merill olympics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christine merrill]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christine merrill sri lanka]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christine merrill track]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christine merrill ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christine sonali merrill]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christine Sonali Merrill: The Most Beautiful Olympian?]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1121</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Our government may have a heart that's two sizes too small and a deficit that's 3 sizes too big, but dammit if we don't push everybody through High School before letting the Free Market measure their dicks, feel up their tits, and determine how successful they can be. 

Consider that in Syria, they shoot citizens don't they?

In Mexico, they shoot heroin (straight into the U.S., no complaints here) and in large swaths of Africa they're too busy LOLing at our Kony Tweets and making Skeptic Lil Nigs meems about us to shoot anything. 

Why the global-flavored pussy on our breath?
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/olympics-2012-christine-sonali-merrill-is-a-fucking-olympic-traitor-for-sri-lanka/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Koalympics 2012: If You Want Gold, Suck Some Cock</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/koalympics-london-olympics-2012-the-english-are-stupid/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/koalympics-london-olympics-2012-the-english-are-stupid/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Jul 2012 07:10:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[london olympics 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[olympic 2012 logo sucks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the english are stupid]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1124</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The 2012 Olympics are underway in Foggy Londontown, and you know what that means: all the world's a stage for the Brits to let out all their dark, nasty sexual impulses. 

You see, behind their accents, which serve as a sort of misdirection for their shitty personalities and delusions of grandeur, there lays a seedy and persistent undercurrent of sexual dysfunction that defines the British Experience. 

Anything to distract from a London man's teeth or a Liverpudlian woman's face, right?

Now that the Olympics are in town, the Brits are slowly revealing these perverse impulses, with news reports about the amount of sex workers that will descend upon London for the Olympics. 

Considering how fucked up these people are, they've also managed to let their dark desires invade the official Olympic Logo.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/koalympics-london-olympics-2012-the-english-are-stupid/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Top Four Shitty Things That Never Fail To Happen To A Guy</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-four-shitty-things-that-never-fail-to-happen-to-a-guy/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-four-shitty-things-that-never-fail-to-happen-to-a-guy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2012 23:31:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Four Shitty Things That Never Fail To Happen To A Guy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1066</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) Thirty seconds before class is over you get a hard on and thinking about it only makes it worse 2.) Ten seconds before the shuttle comes to a stop you get a hard on and thinking about it only makes it worse 3.) As soon as you get out of the pool you get a hard on and sitting down would make it better but you can’t because it’s fucking cold and everybody would know why you’re sitting anyway 4.) You go through entries 1-3 all day and once again it’s [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Top Five Reasons The Donkey Show Is Better Than A Keanu Reeves Movie</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-reasons-the-donkey-show-is-better-than-a-keanu-reeves-movie/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-reasons-the-donkey-show-is-better-than-a-keanu-reeves-movie/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2012 20:31:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thekoala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Five Reasons The Donkey Show Is Better Than A Keanu Reeves Movie]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1065</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) Throwing dollar bills at the screen doesn’t make the movie any better. 2.) If you’re lucky&#8230;..souveniers! 3.) Destroying the Matrix is tricky. Performing in front of a rowdy crowd twice a night is next to impossible. 4.) Saving a bus is easy. Fingering a girl with only four hooves to work with is tough. 5.) The donkey never takes a dramatic pause to utter-out stupidly, “Whoa.”]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-reasons-the-donkey-show-is-better-than-a-keanu-reeves-movie/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Top Five Signs Your Dad Hasn’t Gotten Over Vietnam</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-signs-your-dad-hasnt-gotten-over-vietnam/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-signs-your-dad-hasnt-gotten-over-vietnam/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2012 03:30:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Five Signs Your Dad Hasn’t Gotten Over Vietnam]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1064</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) Believes dog’s hole-digging habbit is actually attempt to restore VC system of inter-connected underground tunnels. 2.) Watches Platoon every morning in his old fatigues. 3.) Still wears his trophy belt of “Charlie” scalps to work every day 4.) Checks yard for trip-wire and boobytraps before mowing the lawn. 5.) Insists no member of the family walks within fifteen clicks of the local pho place.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-signs-your-dad-hasnt-gotten-over-vietnam/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Top Five Things Not to Say to Your Girlfriend While On Her Period</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-things-not-say-your-girlfriend-while-on-her-period/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-things-not-say-your-girlfriend-while-on-her-period/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2012 01:30:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Five Things Not to Say to Your Girlfriend While On Her Period]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1063</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) Do you need a Band-Aid or something? 2.) Alright, now I don’t have to buy those lubricated condoms! 3.) What’s that red stuff? 4.) Sweet, four days of head! 5.) If you’re not better in three days, I’m going to Hawaii with my ex.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-things-not-say-your-girlfriend-while-on-her-period/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Top Five Tyrranical Dictator Pornos</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-tyrranical-dictator-pornos/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-tyrranical-dictator-pornos/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jul 2012 23:30:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Five Tyrranical Dictator Pornos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1062</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) It’s Rainin’ Ho Chi MEN II: My Lay 2.) Chairman Mao ZeDONG Does the Forbidden City 3.) Mussolini’s Fellating Fascists Invade the Canal 4.) Stalin’ the Capitalist Pigs: Porkin’ for the Proletariat 5.) Naughty Adolf’s National Sexualist Party III: The Third Dyke]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-five-tyrranical-dictator-pornos/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Top Seven All-New Shitty Ways to Die</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-seven-all-new-shitty-ways-die/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-seven-all-new-shitty-ways-die/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jul 2012 03:30:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Seven All-New Shitty Ways to Die]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1061</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) From sheer revulsion upon waking up in your parents’ bed naked between Regis Philbin and Tony Danza. 2.) High level members of N.O.W. pour molten glass into your rectum to render you a eunuch. 3.) Johnny from the Local #257 pins down your arm and has his pal drive over it slowly using an eighteen-wheeler truck only then to piss on your  anguished face. 4.) Two hookers (who are actually ninja chicks) video tape you while they beat you up and then post the video on www.__(your name here)_IsaBitch.com. 5.) A Nazi doctor [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-seven-all-new-shitty-ways-die/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Top Five Phrases Most Frequently Heard By A Koala Staffer</title>
		<link>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-5-phrases-most-frequently-heard-by-a-koala-staffer/</link>
		<comments>http://thekoala.org/ucsd/top-5-phrases-most-frequently-heard-by-a-koala-staffer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jul 2012 01:30:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>The Koala</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Koala Top 5]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[koala at ucsd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the koala]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Five Phrases Most Frequently Heard By A Koala Staffer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thekoala.org/ucsd/?p=1060</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; 1.) &#8221;I said 50 feet away at all times!&#8221; 2.) &#8221;You best have my money tomorrow or I&#8217;m a break my foot off in your ass!&#8221; 3.) &#8221;You&#8217;re on double-secret probation!&#8221; 4.) &#8221;Somehow, you&#8217;ve managed to get a J.&#8221; 5.) &#8221;Are you done yet?!&#8221;]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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