The Koala Online
Old Updates
February 12th, 2009: Happy Valentines Day
Don't forget to punch your Valentine in the mouth.
Winter 2009, Issue 02
January 26th, 2009: KOALA MOTHERFUCKING TV
So, if you weren't lucky enough to catch Koala TV last Wednesday, we have good news for you:
Koala TV will air EVERY Wednesday at 10pm on SRTV. On campus, tune to channel 18 for a visual representation of the shitshow known as the Koala!
Web stream coming soon!
January 15th, 2009: Welcome to 2009.
For your viewing pleasure.
Winter 2009, Issue 01
November 19th, 2008: Preview of the Issue!
Despite MAJOR ASSHOLE PRINTER TROUBLES (SD printers are Nazis) we're going to be on Library Walk Thursday, Friday and Monday distributing. Look for a hardcopy there.
For now, you can view it in between jerking off to hentai.
Fall 2008, Issue 02
September 30th, 2008: Latest Issue Up
Check out the latest issue:
Fall 2008, Issue 1
September 24th, 2008: Wanna Join In On The Fun?
A number of you have emailed the editor about joining the fine staff of the Koala. While we normally require human sacrifice, we'll be having our first meeting on Friday at 4:20 in the Media Lounge. Above AS Soft Reserves, and across the way from Porter's Pub. There is a map here.
June 19th, 2008: Freshpeople!
If you've been handed a Koala, and you think you're badass enough, go ahead and email editor (at) koala (dot) ucsd (dot) edu to get info on meetings/parties.
If you can't figure out that email, you're too stupid to be in our club.
April 22nd, 2008: 5th Annual Pi Beta Phi Surf Competition
Come join The Koala and the rest of UCSD at...
April 9th, 2008: Earth Day Issue Online
Just in time for your Earth Day pre-parties, last quarter's Environmental Issue is one of the most high-brow papers we've done in years. And there's still plenty of fellatio on the cover for you eco-terrorists.
February 27th, 2008: New Pic of the Month!
Entries will be accepted until sometime near March 26th.
THE WINNING CAPTION WILL GET A FREE PAIR OF TICKETS TO ANY SHOW AT THE BELLY UP TAVERN.
This venue is 21+, so if you're under 21 prepare to sell the tickets for some dirty mexican skunk weed or head from your bicurious roommate, provided you're actually funny, which you're not. 
Click to Caption
February 11th, 2008: Koalasmopolitian Distribution
Check Out Our Special Valentine's Day Issue...
We're Handing it Out on Library Walk this Week!
January 22nd, 2008: Distribution This Week
What the fuck?!? 25 years of the Koala?!?
Niggas be going crazy!!!
Get your copy on Library Walk befro it's too late!
December 8th, 2007: 2008 Koala Sloshball Tournament
Ladies and Gentleman,
The Koala will be hosting a sloshball tournament Spring Season 2008!
BOARD Club, Surf Club, DVC, and a handful of other organizations are so far expected to participate.
If you're involved in an organization and would like your org to get drunk, email us.
We welcome ALL to challenge us! At least 8 people are needed, but more the better.
Even religious, political, racial, ethnic (including Greek), and sports groups are welcome!
(Dates are not set yet and can be adjusted.)
P.S.: If you don't know what sloshball is...
http://thekoala.org/history/sloshball.html
December 3rd, 2007: New Holiday 2007 Koala!
Happy Kwanukkamas Ev'rybody!
Get your hard copies of the newly divine issue this week on Library Week.
Assalam alaikum, my people.
November 28th, 2007: New Koala? You're so close you can taste it!
Expect a new Koala soon, assholes.
In the meantime, here's a blast from the past all over your cum-hungry little faces:
Fall 1999, Issue II
October 29th, 2007: Jumbo Issue!
What it is bitches?!!
The newest issue is Halloween/Welcome Back-- Jumbo Size because as we all know,
Size really DOES matter!
Look for the paper versions this week on Library Walk or in one of those gay-ass bin things.
October 16th, 2007: Welcome Back
We're not dead, fuckers, just lazy. And to prove it, here's the long awaited 'Welcome Back' issue ... from 1999. A real, new issue is coming out week four.
Fall 1999, Issue 1
June 9th, 2007: New Issue is Up
Good riddance Joe Watson!
May 21st, 2007: Sungod 2007
Sungod Booth Video:
May 15th, 2007: SunGod Booth
Be sure and stop by The Koala's Sungod booth. We have won best booth two years running, and will pull out all of the stops, as usual. Check out previous year's booths.
May 3rd, 2007: Pi Phi Surf Competition
From our new best friends at Pi Phi:
Saturday May 5th, 2007 @ Law Street in Pacific Beach 8AM - 5PM
April 26th, 2007: New Pic of the Month
Entries will be accepted until sometime during the week of May 21.
Click to Caption
April 24th, 2007: Virginia Tech Special
We at The Koala are all university students, so the recent events at Virginia Tech hit us close to home; especially since we have so many Asians at this fine university. We wanted to properly honor the dead Koala-style, and due to the fact that Cho Seung Hui's rampage didn't mesh well with our printing schedule, we printed up a insert with some very tasteful jokes that address this sensitive subject in a timely manner.
April 19th, 2007: New Issue is Up
Check it out, motherfuckers...
April 10th, 2007: New Facebook Group, AS Elections
Join The Koalateers, our new fanclub group.
Vote this week. We like Junaid for obvious (and good!) reasons and J. Stoddard and A. Roof are our boys. D. Das might be ok too.
April 6th, 2007: Sloshball is nigh
Welcome back to a new quarter. Plans are in motion for our usual SunGod and end of the year hijinks; two more issues are due out. We're also finalizing the sloshball league (play starts soon) and we may have one or two more spots open. If you have a student org and you can bring at least 8 people to 3 games over the quarter, contact us before Monday.
March 12th, 2007: Photo of the Month
March 5th, 2007: New issue this week
A special, themed issue is coming out this week. We'll also post the new batch of party reviews soon.
March 2nd, 2007: Sloshball signups
After years of dreaming, The Koala is forming a UCSD sloshball league for spring quarter. Contact us if you have a team (preference given to student orgs, etc.).
February 21st, 2007: Koala Komedy Night
We're hosting 10 of San Diego's best comics at the Porter's Pub stage (on the UCSD campus) March 13 at 8:30pm. This also includes the Second Annual Dirty Mike Pageant. Look for the events on Facebook or Myspace, or email us for more info.
February 14th, 2007: New Parties Added
We just posted the party reviews from the last issue, so be a good little Junior Koala Scout and review 'em.
February 8th, 2007: Koala Kegger
We're throwing a party and holding drinkoff tournaments tomorrow night. Email the editor and if we like you, we'll tell you when and where.
February 5th, 2007: New Photo of the Month
February 3rd, 2007: Don't play the board game!
Oh how my head hurts. For the love of God, don't play the drinking/board game we included in the new issue. If you do, make sure you get at least a handle and ignore the rules on moving your game piece - just move the number of spaces indicated on the die.
January 26th, 2007: New Issue
The first of winter quarter issue is up. Check it out. We'll distribute on campus as soon as we get it from the printer - hopefully the middle of this week.
December 4th, 2006: Koala TV
The Koala TV episode, "Naked Boys" has been put up. We flashed the Koala TV page for easier viewing. Check it out.
October 31st, 2006: New Photo of the Month
October 30th, 2006: New Issue
The new issue is up. Look for it around campus.
October 27th, 2006: Koala Office
The Koala office is under siege by administrators. We'll be keeping you updated, for now through our Myspace blog. Expect a webcam and more front page updates, more often. Read the news and check out all of the crazy stuff we'll be pulling.
October 6th, 2006: New Issue
New issue for a new year, but same old Koala, same old jive. The photo caption contest returns, with prizes - best entry gets two tickets to the San Diego Comedy Co-Op.
Click to Caption!
August 21st, 2006: Defamation League
Vote for The Defamation League, the band that did the porn soundtrack, at the San Diego Music Awards in Best Hip-Hop category.
May 29th, 2006: Sungod Booth
Check out the Sungod booth video (Google Video). We also added some details about the booth to the Sungod booth history section.